“Most people have had times when they ate too much, especially during a special occasion or holiday. Binge eating disorder is different. You feel like you can’t stop, even if you’re already uncomfortably full. You may eat a lot, quickly, even if you’re not hungry. You feel ashamed about it. Unlike bulimia, you don’t try to make yourself throw up or exercise a lot after a binge…”
At least, this is a form of what it can look like for some people.
I remained positive all week & looked forward to getting back into routine after a couple crappy weeks. Today was supposed to be day one of making healthy choices. As my hubby went off to work for the night and I got my toddler ready for bed, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to order food. Pizza. Wings. Anything that would satisfy me. Anything that meant I didn’t have to cook & clean up. I managed to talk myself out of it, but still ate a ridiculous amount of nachos that I made at home.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can’t I have more will power? Why am I so out of control? I don’t understand how I can eat this crap KNOWING how it makes me feel afterward EVERY TIME.
Bloated, guilty, disgusting, depressed.
Soooo like i’ve said a thousand times before, Monday will be “Day One” again. Like a hundred Monday’s before. I’ll aim to make healthy choices and get to the gym 3-4 times a week. Until something happens to throw me off again. Sigh.
I tried to think of an incentive, something to motivate me a little. Ive mentioned before that i’m not only trying to get my eating habits/exercise routine under control but i’m also trying to make myself feel better in anyway possible. I’ve slowlyyyy been getting back into make up again. So, I signed up for Ipsy tonight! If you don’t know what ipsy is, it’s a monthly subscription that sends you make up samples & a cute travel bag. My theory is, it’ll be my “reward” for staying focused and staying on track. If I fall off the wagon hard, if i’m making bad choices, if i’m not stepping foot in the gym for weeks at a time, I have to cancel my subscription. It’s a little pact I made with myself.
I’m going to binge watch trashy reality TV to distract myself from the gross amount of carbs I just ate.
And remind myself that tomorrow is a new day.
Annnnd drink 6 gallons of water.